"I've been working so many hours that my kids would probably call 911 to report a break-in if I came home when they were still awake."
We actually overheard a woman say this laughingly to a friend at a cafe a few weeks ago.
We were taken aback by the note of pride in the speaker's voice. After all, why would you be proud that you never see your children? You can imagine our surprise when her friend responded not with a tip on how she might slow down, but she instead answered with a clear attempt at one-upmanship.
"I hear you," she said loudly. "Jim has started sleeping in the guest room because he says I wake him up when I come in after working late -- and not for the right reasons! Ha Ha!"
And so it went back and forth, a volley of "my stress is bigger than your stress" remarks, until they picked up to leave.
The tone reminded us of those cocktail-party conversations in which the newly affluent "casually" drop details of their new car, "bespoke" clothes or exotic vacation, all while shooting freshly-monogrammed cuffs or scarring your cornea with a 5-pound gold watch launched from a well-tanned wrist.
A NEW TREND SWEEPING THE LAND?
Suspecting a new trend, we noted several similar conversations in the weeks ahead -- between businessmen at an airport, businesswomen, stay-at-home moms (an interesting joust involving who is taxiing the children around more), teachers and even a few college students. Yes, it indeed seems that stress is the new status symbol.
TAKE OUR STRESSED-OUT STATUS TEST
With so many projects, violin lessons and people harrying every Tom, Dick and Harry, we thought it might be helpful to put together a little test so that you, too, can see where you stand on the Stressed-Out Status Scale.
Give yourself one point for each of the following statements you agree with:
-- "I am too stressed to sleep at night without the assistance of a sleep aid." (Two-point bonus if the sleep aid requires a prescription.)
-- "I sleep fewer than four hours a night." (Ten-point bonus if you've eliminated sleep from your life entirely.)
-- "Within the past three months, I have missed a significant family event due to work or a similar obligation." (Three-point bonus if it involved breaking a promise to one of your children.)
-- "I text during family meals." (Two-point bonus if you don't have time for family meals.)
-- "PTA, school plays and church/synagogue/mosque are wonderful business networking opportunities." (Five bonus points if you have children and don't know what "PTA" is.)
-- "I regularly arrive late at day care to pick up my child(ren)." (Two-point bonus if you're charged for overtime and still can't get there punctually. Five-point bonus if Child Protective Services has been called at least once.)
-- "My dog is beyond uncomfortable when I finally get home to walk him." (Two-point bonus for each "accident" in the past six months.)
-- "I have no time for a love life." (Twenty bonus points if you don't know what "love life" means.)
-- "My social life has dried up and disappeared." (One bonus point if you never had one to begin with.)
-- "I am busier than all of my friends." (Three-point bonus if you're so busy that you've lost your friends.)
-- "I need at least three energy drinks to get me through the day." (One-point bonus if drinks are non-FDA approved.)
SCORING YOUR STATUS
If you scored 10 or more, you've achieved certified upwardly-mobile stressed-out status. If you scored 20 or more, you're a certified stressed-out VIP.
We'd congratulate you, but we're too busy.
--
Sunridge Lodge "Back to Eden" quality 24/7 care
261 Oakhill Drive, Brantford backtoeden.ontario@gmail.com
"Building elder peer communities that are cozy,caring and comfortable" -
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