How to be a true friend and brother- here is the gold

years ago how a friend said that some people are "cursed with the
affliction to give advice." I had no idea what he meant. Sure sounded
strange to me. Now I understand. He was talking about unsolicited
advice; that is, giving advice where it is neither asked for nor
wanted.

According to Webster's Dictionary, people "offering unwanted advice or
services" are officious. I think that word is close to "obnoxious."
Such advice can be thinly veiled criticism.

I'm not talking about going to a lawyer, an accountant, a car
mechanic, or whatever when we need professional advice. What I'm
talking about is when we share our struggles and feelings with a
friend and they have a compulsion to tell us what we should or
shouldn't do, or how we should or shouldn't feel. They are in fact
putting us down in that they are assuming that they know our needs and
understand our situation better than we do ourselves.

Even when some people want advice about a personal issue, it is more
effective not to give it to them, but help them come up with their own
options and solutions.

A good counselor doesn't tell people what they should or shouldn't do.
He helps them see for themselves what they need to do.

What I want from a friend when I am feeling in the pits, is someone to
listen to me with their heart, to give me their presence, and accept
me as I am, and let me know that they care—not try to fix me—or
someone who will weep with me when I weep. Such friends may be rare
but they are worth their weight in gold.

--

Brant Positive Action Group <https://sites.google.com/site/bpagsiegholle> -a
positive community affirmative action group that promotes goodwill and
timely cost effective creative solutions to enhance the competitive well
being of Brant Brantford and Six Nations